A Man & His Cock

Insert obvious cock joke here. North Carolina

Coughing Up A Furball

Covered from head to toe in fur. This leads me to two conclusions: (1) You might as well carry a sign that reads “Hey PETA bet you can’t get any red paint on me!” and (2) you probably have a really hairy bush. Gross I know, and i’m sure people will bitch, but before you [...]

A, B, Or C?

Here is a new feature i like to call “What the Hell is it doing?” I will give you a few options: (A) She is picking and sniffing and alternating every few seconds. (B) She is taking her temperature both orally and anally. (C) She really wants to piss of the employees working the return [...]

The Old Pony

Partial haircut, sleeveless hoodie, jorts….is that your thing? Do you do everything half-assed? Iowa

La Cucaracha

I go in to buy some undershirts and i end up leaving with tortilla chips, salsa, shredded cheese, taco shells, and the rest of the Old El Paso town….damn you in person marketing!!! Texas

What?s That Spell?

Give me a “W”! Give me a “T”! Give me an “F”! Give me a break; if you’re a cheerleader, then O.J.’s innocent. Arkansas

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

I?ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is you look like Beetlejuice?s hooker. The good news is, well actually I guess I only had bad news. Unknown

Nice Legs

I?d say something witty but I?m pretty sure you could put my head in a scissor leg lock and pop it like a grape. Unknown

Doggy Day Care

Paris Hilton gets to carry her dog around because it fits in her purse, so why can?t I bring my dog with me too? Unknown