Head Trauma

What are you? The viking goddess of loneliness? Get rid of the tail hat and try having a conversation with someone that doesn’t involve your theory on episode 218 of Star Trek. Alabama

Magenta Mad Man

Go ahead and make fun of this guy’s pink bike. I dare you. Last time somebody made that mistake he stabbed them with a quesadilla…yeah, wrap your head around that one. California

Does A Bear Sh*t In The Woods?

Hey, maybe next time you decide to wear an awful looking fur thing you should probably buy the one that doesn’t look like it was made from a bear’s ass-crack. I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that it looks like a poo trail or the fact that you have on what looks to [...]

Bam Bam

That’s nuts! I was just asking my friend the other day “What the hell happened to Bam Bam from the Flinstones?” Mississippi

Me So Horny

Unfortunately, no one told her she could change her clothes after they were done shooting the 2 Live Crew “Hoochie Mama” video back in 1992. Indiana

Superwoman In Disguise

I would like everyone to stop for a minute and think about this: There is a man standing there covered from head to toe in leather, and yet that doesn’t even faze you because you can’t stop staring at those itty bitty back titties! Texas

Skunked

Okay, now once you’re done looking at the skunk, get ready…..go on get ready…..are you ready?…..I’m pretty sure there’s a child in the bottom part of the cart. Florida

World Champion

Captain Rollback here is ready to lay the smackdown on your candy ass. Pennsylvania

D-I-V-A

Thirty minutes huh? I’m guessing that estimate doesn’t account for the curlers that are still in your hair. Arkansas

Walmart Barbie

Unlike most Barbies, this one comes with 5 kids, a case of PBR, and a carton of smokes. Alabama