Handle With Care

Is it even legal to make a shirt for that type of business? Don’t get me wrong I could use a good handler for my wienie as much as the next guy, I just happen to like a little discretion with mine….because I use ketchup. In some parts of the country that is apparently frowned [...]

Rusted Root

After you’re done picking up whatever disinfectant it is you use on that thing why don’t you head on back to the lawn & garden section and pick up some clippers or a weed-wacker to get rid of that rotted tree root. Unknown

Arizona Girls

? Daisy dukes, bikini on top. Skeezer skunk hair so skanky she’ll melt your popsicle! Oooooh oh oooooh ? – Whatever, I’m not Katie Perry for a reason. Try your own lyrics. Arizona

Herbivore

“Hey old man, what kind of “herbs” do they got in there?” – “Get out of here you dirty f*cking hippie. I didn’t fight in the war so you could run around shirtless smoking dope with your hippie friends and light bags of dog poop on fire on my porch. Get a job.” >> That’s [...]

Mad About You

Are those fake pantyhose? Really? This isn’t Mad Men, you aren’t gonna catch sh*t for not wearing leggings….God I wish this was Mad Men though. Uggghh that would be so awesome. Don Draper is a boss! Texas

Creepy Clowns

Excuse me Ms. Giggle-Cakes, can you tell us on a scale of 1 to 10 how lonely your childhood was? 1 being you were surrounded by friends and loved ones and 10 being your best friend was your next door neighbor’s imaginary friend…..a 10? Great, I thought so. Indiana

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Do you know what other band got their start in the boy’s clothing section at Wal-Mart?…..No seriously, I was asking. Does anybody know? Because I have to assume if you are at the point where you are accepting that gig you must have given up all hope to play MSG one day. Oh, and why [...]

In Good Spirits

How come the spirits of mother nature never tell people to wear pants? Maybe the spirits think it’s something that can go unsaid, but clearly it cannot. So by the slim chance that the spirits out there also enjoy our website, I implore you to please tell people to wear pants. Thank you. Unknown

PoWM IPhone App Has Arrived

Well, there are a few flaws. The face should be frowning and the eye on the left should be squinted down a bit. You should download our new iPhone app so you have our logo as a reference when you’re away from your computer. Michigan

Baby Skullet

If it is not already a law, we need to make one that states “If you give your kid a skullet, Child Services gets to come to your house, punch you in the stomach and take the kid.” Write a letter to your congressmen and have him propose this as a bill. Texas