Holy Shirts & Pants

Ummm did we just manage to find two soul mates lost and separated by a few states? Yeah, take that sh*t eHarmony! We did it for free and without even trying. Florida & Maryland

Afro Puff

You know what’s awesome about a 35 year old afro? Everything. Yeah, didn’t think I was going there did you? Think about it though, (1) afros are sweet, (2) toss on sunglasses and you are completely in disguise, and (3) she probably still gets a contact high from smoke still lingering in there from the [...]

Mmm, Mmm, Good!

I guess everything is bigger in Texas except the f***ing shirts!!!! I mean come on! That is just a complete and total lack of effort and care. Texas

Wham Bam Bigelow

Oh what’s that crazy guy? You saw a double rainbow? Nobody is impressed. I just saw a double Bam Bam Bigelow! Put that sh*t on YouTube for a million hits! Pennsylvania

Throw Away The Key

You lock it up! Oklahoma

Cover It Up

Miss, your tan lines are showing….showing us all why they make clothing to go over your swimsuit. Oklahoma

Make Way

Well, we are 2 weeks away from the release of our book People of Walmart: Shop & Awe and I’m guessing this ‘Destruction Derby’ team is going to need every minute of that time to make their way to a book store to pick it up….not that the carts are too slow I’m just guessing they [...]

Back To School Shopping

Okay, who do you have for homeroom this year? OMG so do I! That is gonna be soooo much fun. Okay, okay, what do you have 3rd period? Social studies. Me too! This is gonna be the best year ever! We are totally the greatest BFFs like ever! Unknown

Not So Subtle

So did you tattoo grass and weeds growing up out of your ass or are those just escaping fumes? That may sound odd but judging by how well you hide your bra I figured subtlety would be lost on you. Kansas