It?s Pat!

Is that a beard? Are those breasts? I’m not sure if this person would be someone who would work on cars or style hair. Florida

Cuttin? Some Glass

GA_googleFillSlot("Photo"); Ever wonder where the expression ‘colder than a witch’s tit’ comes from? Kentucky

Winter Booties

Winter clothes checklist: hoody, obnoxious fur boots, booty thong….check, check, and check. Now to find something that goes with a tramp stamp and under-cheeks. Utah

Point Break

I guess this guy enjoys riding the waves. Get it? Get it? Yeah, cover up please. Arizona

Photo Op

I think we have a professional photographer on our hands here. How do you get two pair of sexy short shorts in one shot? Add in a studded belt and a yellow tank top and I’m positive we have the next Annie Leibovitz snapping pics for us. California

Avert Your Eyes

Hahahahaha. I’m laughing because you can’t stop looking! You don’t want to, but you just can’t stop! Hahahahahah….gross. Missouri

Party In The U.S.A.

Nothing says “I’m good with children” like a pink hat/hair combo and a toddler’s Hannah Montana t-shirt stitched onto your own creepy shirt. He wants to know if you need him to babysit on weekends. Unknown

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

That literally sends chills down my spine due to its level of creepiness. He is so relaxed that it makes me uncomfortable. Florida

Hit Me Baby One More Time

“Who wouldn’t look good in a school girl outfit?” —-> Answer: See above. South Carolina

It?s Just For Decoration

If you asked me to pick one item off of him and tell you where you could go buy it, I would be so dumbfounded that I would collapse. New York